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By Waiching
In 2022, I experienced a lot of disappointment and unhappiness. As the year ended, I was relieved to put it behind me and eager to turn over a new chapter and to make sure that my work efforts in 2023 stood out and that it was a year filled with more positive highlights.
At the start of the year, things were looking good. Even though we had no permanent manager or supervisor in charge of the food court for several months, I was making good progress with my work and receiving positive feedback from members about my contributions. Over time, there were various changes in the employee roster at Costco. Some individuals departed, and others joined the department. While most new faces were welcome to the team, there were a few who left that were not missed. (It is amusing to me that the same two people who once advised me to stick to my regular work at Costco were the ones who eventually quit their jobs at the food court. They believed that I was not good enough to serve members or prepare food, but, ironically, they were the ones who ended up leaving).
I realise I will never find my worth in another person or their opinions. I have cultivated a not-give-a-damn attitude and got used to not taking what people say or do to me personally; that's them, their image of me, of how they perceive me - but I don't have to agree or accept it. I have self-worth and pride and some get me and understand me; by not getting upset or overreacting by taking things personally, ignoring and moving on, I feel at inner peace with myself. Seeking validation from other people devalues my self-worth and sets me up for heartbreak and sadness.
On certain days, things go smoothly, while on others, they don't. Even though I have mixed feelings about the café, it still seems like this is the most appropriate place for me to develop my skills. The department has been experiencing a high turnover rate every year, which is not uncommon in large corporations such as Costco. They are always in need of new workers and hope that the employees have invested too much time and effort to resign, once they do the bait and switch.
The present-day food court team is doing well and has improved in strength and drive. It's always good to witness a team that works well together when things go well. As for the self-service kiosks they have made the process slightly efficient and there are no longer any queues to contend with.
At the end of last year, I made the conscious decision to take a step back by focusing on and prioritising myself and not relying on other people for my happiness. As a result, I ended my relationship with a colleague whom I had known for almost four years. I felt she was not respecting my boundaries, particularly when I needed space. There was also an incident at work that I won't go into detail about, but it made me realize that I needed to cut ties with her for good. This experience taught me that it's okay to be independent and to prioritize my own needs.
In 2023 things weren't perfect, but I felt like at the start there was a new dawn, a new beginning after some people at work, including my previous manager left. I like being able to challenge myself without someone constantly monitoring me. It is through these experiences and the people we meet that build our character; that we can grow and mature emotionally and get the best out of each other. Either we become better individuals or we remain stagnant. Or it reminds us how we ought not to be like him/her.
The cost-of-living crisis has been a hot topic for discussion lately, but fortunately, I earn a good income from my work. The years of overseas travel continued in 2023: In February, I returned to Hong Kong, which is like a second home. It's one of my favourite cities in the world. Later on, I visited Los Angeles for the first time. While both trips were very different, they offered a much-needed respite from my daily work routine.
Looking back on this year, I am proud to say that my biggest accomplishment was reaching five years of service in the food court of Costco, making me the longest-serving employee in that department at the warehouse. Surviving for half a decade in the fast-paced environment of the Costco food court/cafe, despite the many challenges that come with working in a department that experiences high turnover rates every year, is no easy feat.
In 2023, I became more aware of the importance and impact of my work contributions. This realization motivated me to take my career to new heights by becoming more proactive. I also discovered that I possess a considerable amount of self-confidence and self-worth, which enabled me to take on various tasks that were required of me.
When faced with a difficult task, it may seem impossible and daunting at first. However, with persistence, it can be achieved. In my case, I found that the more I worked in the back, the easier it became. I was serving members and ringing up orders, something I had not done before. Initially, I was hesitant and worried that I would not be able to do it.
In the past, I used to get so caught up in my emotions that it affected my work or prevented me from doing it. But now, years later, I've learned to set them aside. I don't get upset or emotional as much as I used to, and I'm far less angry and pent-up than before.
However, I still had to stand up for myself when certain people tried to push my buttons.
When you are in anger mode, you have no clarity.
It was a real challenge to accept that other people's behaviour towards me had nothing to do with me. Instead, it was more about the internal issues that they were dealing with.
My intuition is telling me that something is not right with that person. However, I try to ignore it and give them another chance because I am usually a forgiving person. But then, they continue or repeatedly persist with the same behaviour that is triggering me, even though they are unaware of it.
I need to keep reminding myself that I am not responsible for managing other people's emotions, especially from people I would never give them the time of day, otherwise. I don't owe anyone any comfort, and if they can't or won't accept me for who I am, I won't force them.
I don't live my life for them.
I don't like to judge people and write them off completely unless they have done something or said something to me that has made me lose trust in them. Some people might not give them another chance, and only some deserve a second chance. However, I have realized that my self-worth is not dependent or co-dependent on other people's acceptance of me. They might have an image of who I should be in their eyes, and vice versa, but that is not reality. I am the one who is in control of my life, my destiny, my emotions, and my feelings, not anyone else.
I am who I am for myself, and not for anyone else. What others think or say about me does not define me. I know my self-worth, and I don't need anyone's validation to feel good about myself. Besides, you should never allow anyone else's thoughts, remarks, opinions, or comments about you to determine your self-worth and validate who you are.
You may take them with a grain of salt, but nobody knows you better than yourself. And if people decide to have a negative opinion of you, yet throw a hissy fit when you have something to say about them, remind yourself they are being hypocritical and unfair to themselves as well as to you.
I have learned to appreciate the simple things in life, and I no longer chase after people who do not appreciate me. I value those who matter to me and cherish their presence.
I used to tolerate a lot because I didn't want to lose people and I have not been able to deal with the insecurities of my childhood past, but I now realize and understand that not everyone is worth holding onto.
Having been at Costco for five years, it has been quite a ride. In late 2018, the cafe team, with its original members, was performing well. However, things became hectic and chaotic in 2019 and 2021. Despite the challenges, I was able to perform better in 2021. Although 2023 presented many difficulties, it was still a significant improvement over the previous year.
In 2022 it permeated an overwhelmingly jaundiced sentiment that made me loathe it even more. I said to one colleague of mine how last year was a 'total s*** show'. Well, for me it was.
It is important to take the time to reflect on both our successes and our failures or goals that we didn't achieve. In my personal experience, I have undergone a journey of growth, resilience and self-discovery, which is ongoing. Change and evolution are inevitable and can be felt over time, whether we acknowledge them or not. Every year, I learn something new. If I make mistakes, I must learn from them. If something good happens, I cherish the memory.
After waiting in line, I have finally realized that I have accomplished a great deal. Despite the multiple line-up changes, working at the café/food court has been incredibly gruelling and challenging, with long days and nights. We all know that we work harder than many other departments and we do not need anyone to affirm this. However, the café team has made significant progress in the past year and is in a much better place today than it was last year at this time.
Throughout the first four years, I was primarily focused on my work and managed to achieve positive results.
Looking back, I now realize that emotionally I wasn't in the right place. I used to try to control situations and people, always trying to make things work out the way I wanted.
This approach left me feeling miserable and unhappy. I came to the realization that I was seeking validation and respect from others, believing that this would bring me happiness. However, towards the end of 2022, I discovered that this approach had its drawbacks and that I had placed my happiness in the hands of others so I decided to stop.
My journey through life's ups and downs, based on my shared experiences, may not be understandable to everyone. However, that is perfectly okay because it is not their journey to comprehend. In the same way, their journey is not for me to understand. Once I decided to stop caring about what others say or think about me, set boundaries, and cut off people who did not respect them, and those who gave me mixed signals, I could move forward. Working life helped me grow a backbone, - something that was lacking in my past life.
My energy and intuition weren't for everyone and no longer served a purpose to him or her.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust, honesty, and open communication, rather than attachment. When communication is lacking, problems are likely to arise. If it seems that the relationship with the other person is not productive, then either it is an unhealthy relationship or there is very little to gain from it.
As time goes by, relationships between people can change. There are some individuals with whom I used to converse frequently, but now I hardly talk to them, or perhaps not at all. Some others may have gone out of my life completely. I have also realized that people have many different aspects of their personality, and they may reveal a part of themselves that we had not seen before.
I need to prioritize those who matter in my life and align with my values and not waste my time on those who do not reciprocate the same level of attention & energy as mine.
It has been a challenging year that has resulted in personal growth and transformation. It is easy to become overwhelmed by problems, issues, and difficulties, as well as the behaviour of others who may say more about them than us. It is important to stay positive and focused on our goals, even when things don't go as planned. We should keep moving forward day by day and continue to do the best we can. It is also important to avoid getting distracted by things and people that do not concern us or do not have our best interests at heart.
We shouldn't let anything or anyone hold us back. If we had not crossed paths with them, we would not even pay them any attention in the first place.
(Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik)
When we let go of our expectations of others and stop hoping for unlikely outcomes, we liberate ourselves from disappointment and the sudden urge to control or manipulate people into liking or respecting us. Rather, we can choose to be supportive, caring, and empathetic, which can help us avoid significant emotional burdens.
When we accept others for who they really are, without feeling guilty or resentful, and allow things to be as they are, we gain acceptance that everyone has the freedom to live their lives as they wish, as long as their thoughts, actions, and behaviours do not undermine or hurt us.
We gain a better understanding of ourselves and of them, which often leads to a much healthier relationship when we choose not to place expectations on him/her.
One thing I need to be always wary of is if I am unsure, I still need to speak up in person to prevent a mistake or issue from occurring or taking place.
I have come to a point in my life where I cannot go back to the difficult times I faced in 2019 or 2022. For the next five years, I will have to rely on my own drive and initiative to succeed at Costco. I know my worth and I don't feel the need to justify myself to anyone anymore.
The first five years were mentally and emotionally challenging for me, and I have had my fair share of both good and bad experiences. I believe that those experiences at Costco have shaped me into the person that I am currently. I am now in a stronger position to face the challenges of the future.
I understand and accept that life is unpredictable, but I am determined to continue to do my best at work. I have realized that my state of happiness lies with me, and I am the only one responsible for it.
I am excited to see what the next five years have in store for me. I am eager to grow personally and professionally in all areas of my life. Progressional growth is high on my list of priorities and I am confident that with hard work and determination, there is more success to come.
Image by rawpixel on Freepik
*A generative AI tool on Grammarly was used for the editing process of this post
Highs +
- Travelling to Hong Kong in February and Los Angeles in October
- The member compliments
- Finally getting to work in the kitchen after 5 years devoted to cleaning the tables
- The cafe team from September onwards
- I was happier and more content most of the time than in 2022
- Reaching 5 years in the Costco cafe/food court
Lows -
- Early May, July & August
- When I had an injury in early December, December was a challenging time for me
