Mini Retro Review: DOA: Dead Or Alive (2006) #badmovies

DOA: Dead or Alive
2006
Martial Arts Action

Directed by Corey Yuen Kwai and penned by the writer of Pretty Woman, which one wouldn't expect, DOA: Dead Or Alive is yet another in the long line of terrible video game based movies. Whilst it got a limited theatrical release, DOA went straight to DVD in the States. Some or be it most of the casting choices are questionable (Helena is supposed to be French but she is played by an American), and by and large, not good and taking away the fights, which are CGI based, DOA is an even poorer film. So why did I watch this one? Well, because I thought this would be a guilty pleasure flick - and yet, the cheese really cuts through most of it. I still say I prefer this over King of Fighters and Streetfighter; fights-wise,  It's not bad-bad and there is plenty of fan service for fans of Holly Valance, Devon Aoki and Jamie Pressly, whilst Eric Roberts known for the Best of the Best movies gets to show off his martial arts chops, whilst wearing sunglasses. Also in this are Brian J. White and ex-wrestler, Kevin Nash (supposedly) looking like Hulk Hogan as the Hulk Hogan-esque Bass Armstrong, when they could have got the real Hulk Hogan instead. But the plot and story blows and this is the type of movie that when made in the 1980s, it would have called upon Cynthia Rothrock, Michelle Yeoh & Sibelle Hu, and with that in mind, it would have made for a better movie and under a different title. Here's hoping for movies on Virtua Fighter and ARMS, based on the Nintendo fighting game - NOT. 


Is It Worth Watching?

If you want to watch a bunch of chicks kick ass, sure. If you are into action martial arts movies, there are plenty of options out there that do it better than DOA


Overall:

Retro Review: Street Kings (2008)

Street Kings 
2008
Cast: Keanu Reeves, Hugh Laurie, Chris Evans, Forrest Whitaker, Naomie Harris, Cedric The Entertainer, Common, Jay Mohr, Terry Crews
Genre: Crime Thriller
Worldwide Box Office Gross: over $65 million

Plot: An undercover cop, disillusioned by the death of his wife, is implicated in the murder of an officer and must struggle to clear himself 

''Not The King Of The World'

Street Kings is a baffling movie: baffling, because with a premise that has been done and recycled to death in so many movies, not least Training Day, what with all the twists and turns, it ended up confounding me in ways in which everything else that happened in between in the lead up to those events, was dull and a waste of time. 
This is probably the toughest and challenging film Keanu has done, well until John Wick came along. But for the opening 10 mins, nothing rarely happens until the last 20 mins of the film, when it really comes alive.

Veteran LAPD cop Tom Ludlow is part of the Special Vice Squad Unit headed by Captain Jack Wander, where they shoot first, ask questions later and choose not to play by the rulebooks. Since his wife's death, Tom adapts a hardline approach to taking out criminals. 

When Tom's ex-partner, Terrance gets killed by a pair of machine-gun totting thugs in a convenience store, Tom gets hold of the videotape and is framed for Terrance's death. With the LAPD targeting him as a suspect, Tom has to go it alone. 

There are issues with this film as pointed earlier on; that and some of the dialogue was pitiful to hear and poorly written, and as a whole Street Kings was nothing short of flat and that story-wise, it just never stood out from beginning to end. The casting featured the guy from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the guy from Are We There Yet? and rom-com, Picture Perfect with a God-awful moustache that he didn't need, Brooklyn Nine-Nine's Terry Crews, British actor Hugh Laurie, who went on to later success with House MD and pre -Avengers superstar, Chris Evans in a wasted supporting role as a budding cop. The characters are either one-dimensional or lifeless; even with the turncoat cops, it was obvious from the start who was behind it and that not one of them would have fooled 90% of the audience, who would have easily worked out that they had a hand in setting up and bringing down Ludlow. Keanu Reeves did what he could, but the material did him no favours, whilst Forrest Whitaker overacted at times and rapper Common and Cedric The Entertainer had to make do with characters, who were unpleasant and vulgar. Meanwhile, the female actresses had so little screentime, there was next to no character development for both Naomie Harris's & Martha Higareda's roles. 

I wanted Street Kings to defy me; this ought to have been a great film or be it one destined as a cult crime thriller -, instead, it became an underwhelming & hugely disappointing movie that didn't try anything or bring anything to the table, but instead, it rehashed and slapdashed some of the 'crooked cops' ideas of Training Day and tacked it onto a bland and generic script. & due to the script, there was not one stand out performance. In fact, the performances at best were comparable to that of either a TV cop show or direct-to-DVD film. Which, in itself, is sort of amusing as the sequel to Street Kings was greenlit and headed to DVD. The twists were all right, but they came too little too late and just weren't enough to salvage this movie.

Final Verdict: 

Deep down there is an underlying film that is waiting to be unleashed, yet for all the bravado it turns out that Street Kings rarely offers anything different, insightful and new: it's a B/Z-movie in disguise and one many would choose to overlook in favour of other similar and yet far better offerings. 

Overall:

Retro Review: I Could Never Be Your Woman (2007)

I Could Never Be Your Woman
2007
Cast: Michelle Pfieffer, Paul Rudd, Sarah Alexander, Stacey Dash, Jon Lovitz, Fred Willard, Tracey Ullman, Graham Norton
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Worldwide Box Office Gross: over $9.5 million

Plot: A mother falls for a younger man while her daughter falls in love for the first time. Mother Nature messes with their fates

'Despite Its Efforts, I Could Never Get Into This Rom-Com'

2007's I Could Never Be Your Woman was meant to be released in cinemas, but then was reneged and it got dumped on DVD instead. Whether or not it would have caught the audiences' attention back then, had it been released theatrically, we don't know, I wouldn't know. In hindsight, though despite its deficiencies, this comes across as being more intelligent and far less shallow than many of the so-called populist rom-coms that have generated millions at the box office. But I Could Never Be Your Woman has one particular drawback: its ideas it wants to convey doesn't seem to come through in such a way that it wants to say something to the audience. 

There is a cameo by Irish and UK based TV chat show host, Graham Norton as a fashion gay guy. & who would've thought that 12 years later Paul Rudd and Michelle Pfeiffer would later reunite and appear on Marvel Studios' Ant-Man & The Wasp? Tracey Ulman, however, is sadly wasted as Mother Nature and she also drags the film down, whilst Rudd seems okay, but like Pfieffer, they were working with a script that needed to go further but didn't.    

The main issue I had with this film is, as much as I applaud it by offering a different slant with regards to relationships and the older woman, who is also a TV producer & divorced mother, falling for a younger man, the story just didn't have enough to keep it going. It is also a jumbled mess when it comes to the ideas and issues it wanted to portray (celebrity culture, obsession with remaining youthful) through its theme of multi-generational relationships and the whole film seems to be scattered all over the place, it was difficult to keep track of what was going on. Nonetheless, I Could Never Be Your Woman deserves credit for not being atypical rom-com.

When I heard the White Town song, Your Woman, I could sense where the makers of the movie got the title of this film from. One scene I did like was when Pfieffer b***slapped Sarah Alexander's Jeannie, which had me glued to the screen for a couple of mins.

Pfieffer tries to sell herself in a romantic comedy, well and she is more than able to pull it off, even when the scripts and screenplays let her down, she appears assured and relaxed in her role and thus forth has the capabilities and range to make for a convincing love interest or romantic lead who is looking for love. 

The mother/daughter scenes between Rosie and the daughter, Izzie played by Saoirse Ronan prop up the movie, more so than the other aspects of it. Amy Heckerling, famed for the excellent Clueless, is at heart, an expressionist when it comes to her directorial style: mainstream audiences who are so used to the mainstream, commercial hits won't get much out of this film. She has a lot to say about women in modern society and the different variations and stereotypes that are banded around; unfortunately, but for Clueless, these ideas are either drowned out or demoted in favour of the script, which isn't well conceived, nor is it all that impressive. 

Final Verdict:

If it weren't for Michelle Pfieffer as the headliner of this act, I Could Never Be Your Woman would be weaker -, and that is a pity because I actually do think that it makes more of a bolder effort than Pfieffer's other rom-com effort, 1996's One Fine Day and thus, it has the better premise. It just needed more oomph in its subject matter to take the movie out of its comfort zone, and despite taking its cues from 1966's The Graduate, I Could Never Be... misses the mark to become a classic. Yet its disorganisation of ideas and film's actual structure undoes any potential I Could Never Be Your Woman could have easily realised. 

Because of this, it turns out to be a very uneven film. Pfieffer and Paul Rudd both deserved a better script. 


Overall:

My Dream Travel Places To Visit List In 2021 and Beyond

(*posted in 2020)

By Waiching

Further on from the news announced a week or so ago by the UK Foreign office advising Brits against all but non-essential travel indefinitely, amidst the growing Coronavirus pandemic, which is getting worse every week, this means that in 2020, there will be little to no free movement being made, until countries are given the all-clear and to open up their borders to all. As the days pass by social distancing becomes even more of a stretch and as a result of the lockdown. Travel restrictions have been extended further, making it virtually impossible for us to go on holiday, free-from the virus and free from worry and panic. 

Whilst on my days off from work, I stay at home and do the chores and listen to the radio, blog and do stuff to take my mind off work, as well as COVID-19 during the lockdown, I am already planning ahead for 2021, - a big year for me as I turn 40 -, and even further afield, insofar as travel is concerned and thinking about where I want to head out to next on my travels, as soon as this all blows over or when this comes to an absolute end, or that it is safe for us to do so because, at this moment in time, it is making feel people desolate. 

Coronavirus has well and truly scuppered our plans that many of us are looking forward and onwards to hopping onto a plane next year; of course, we all want to be travelling right now: whether this is to experience new cultures, new places or visit family and friends, but the best we can do is watch youtube videos on travel.  

''It is not the destination where you end up but the mishaps and memories you create along the way'' - Penelope Riley

I'm not giving hope in not travelling, ever again post-COVID-19; if anything, this pandemic and in overcoming it, has made me even keener and determined to see the rest of the world. It's important to feel optimistic and the tide will eventually turn at some point. People will spend the lockdown period and this time dreaming and planning their next getaway escape and in knowing where they want to go to next. 

Travel isn't going to end for good and there is nothing wrong making plans for next year and beyond for that. We should use this time as an opportunity to look and plan ahead and push forward with our dream destinations when restrictions are lifted and things do get back to normal, or be it the new normal, and by immersing ourselves in something that makes us feel good, positive and happy, as well as inspires you. 


2021 & Beyond 

Spain / Valencia, Barcelona, Sevilla - Spain is an inexpensive and affordable place to go to with plenty of sun and sea, along with their easy-going, sociable lifestyle and warm hospitality. Its success as a tourist spot is a culmination of different factors. Food is varied - from Valencian paella to Madrid's Patatas Bravas, as well as tapas, churros & seafood, there is nothing I wouldn't try out and eat. Oh, and Spanish is second only to Chinese Mandarin when it comes to widely spoken languages in the world with so many dialects and is one of the most phonetic languages around. Having visited and enjoyed Madrid last year with my sister for the first time, this made me more eager to pursue other cities and regions of Spain. I haven't been to many places, but in Spain, it has become and is one of my favourite destinations. It's more than Buena. 

USA / New York City - one of the leading metropolis for food, art, culture, theatre/theater, musicals, the so-called Big Apple, without a doubt, easily rival London's in this respect. My sister has been to NY several times -, I haven't yet and I have set my sights in doing so next year, and I can't wait. Times Square (especially at night), Chinatown, Central Park, the statue of liberty are amongst the attractions, as well as shopping. It is one of those famous cities everyone has to pay a visit to once in their lives. I'm also interested in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Houston to name as well.  

Hong Kong - if Asian cities were Far East versions of New York and London, Hong Kong would certainly be one of them. I love the Westernness of HK, its multicultural aspect makes me feel like I get the best of both West and East in just one place. Many street signs have both the English and Chinese names, & its bilingual aspect is what sets it apart from other Asian cities such as Tokyo, Seoul, as it makes it easy to get in and around Hong Kong. Another reason is for the food: when it comes to culinary options, Hong Kong has so much to choose from. For me, Hong Kong is like a second home. A former British colony, it is buzzing with energy and the city life is one has to fully experience and immerse themselves in. 

Canada - From some of the images, it's a Northern America with European influences; a cosmopolitan and multicultural society, it carves out a distinct personality by way of its French heritage via Quebec. There is, on one side, the hustle and bustle of city life in Vancouver and the other, the rural side with the Rocky Mountains and mooses. Its outdoors lifestyle is what attracts people the most about Canada: from skiing and snowboarding to hiking, fishing and biking there is so much to see and do. 

France - Like Spanish is to Spain, the French language is synonymous with France, sophistication, elegance, style, its cultural repertoire is so vast with the Effiel Tower, French Rivera that goes further with art, food. That, along with its multicultural diversity of people of different ethnicities makes it one of the most visited places for many tourists and travellers. 

Italy/Venice or Milan - from art (Pablo Picasso) to food, cars (Lamborghini, Ferrari), history, language, fashion and football (soccer), the Italians thrive in many areas. Like Spain, it combines so many elements into its national character through its elegance, Latin origins, sense of style and easy-going lifestyle and vibrant scenery. Burano has some amazing and colourful looking houses that wouldn't look out of place in Venice. 

Peru/ Lima - this is on my most wanted list, Peru is one of the most diverse countries in South America with a mixture of cultures including Andean, African, Asian and European, and one that has in recent years developed a substantial following.

                   

Japan/Tokyo, Okinawa & Kyoto - the home to Manga and Anime, sushi, Nintendo, Sony with a city nightlife to rival Hong Kong's, New York and London to name, Japanese culture is oh so weird, wacky, but also fun, eccentric and brimming with coolness with its technology and gadgets. Combining traditional experiences with current and future ones is one of the reasons why Japan is marvelled and revered by many and as one of the must-see places in the world to visit. 

Argentina/Buenos Aires - currently, the third biggest country in South America in terms of population size behind Columbia (2nd) and Brazil (1st), Argentina is the Spain of South America like Brazil is to Portugal of South America. With its lush mountains, huge hills, it provides endless opportunities for adventurers, with the city of Buenos Aires leading the way. After seeing the images, I am dying (well, not dying) to visit Buenos Aires sometime. 

Australia/Sydney (New South Wales) or Melbourne - one of the most remote places in the world, but also one of the most expensive with tickets setting you back as much as £600 +, it is far from cheap. But with beaches, barbecues and surfing to rival the U.S's, as well as kangaroos, wombats and koalas, there is so much to see. It's interesting to see how Australia's regions differ from each other: Melbourne is more cultural and urban, whilst Sydney has the sun, the landmarks such as the Opera House, Bondi Beach. For native English speakers like myself, the language barrier is no worry; I can pretty much get by most places and granted, its vibrant - yet laid-back culture is another reason why Australia is on my 'must visit' list.

Uruguay/Montevideo - the capital of Uruguay is wedged between South American big players, Brazil and Argentina making it the middle child, yet there is something about the continent's smallest country that intrigues me that I actually want to go there and see for myself how it is like there. 

South Korea/Seoul & Busan - home to boyband, BTS, it has in recent years grown to become an exciting and interesting alternative as a destination in East Asia, to the likes of Japan and China; South Korean food is a must-try, especially for those who have grown up on or enjoy Chinese food, as they have somewhat echo similar taste buds and dishes. Seoul has been getting a lot of love as the nation's capital city, yet judging by the youtube videos, Busan is far right my alley with its futuristic, urban looking streets at night.  

Mini Retro Review: Epicenter (2000) #badmovies

Epicenter
2000
Action

I wasn't expecting much from Epicenter; a low-budget straight to DVD effort, it had B-movie action star, Gary Daniels, who with the right material, can light up the screen, softcore movie actress, Traci Lords and Jeff Fahey of The Lawnmower Man in this one. Noted as one of PM Entertainment's last movies ever produced, it borrows stock footage taken out of other movies such as Eddie Murphy's Metro, Speed and Money Train starring Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. The decision to copy and paste scenes from those films does let it down a little -, although if the budget was really small, one could see why the directors resorted to those measures. A cross between an action film and a disaster movie, what doesn't quite work is the plot and the story, which is stifled by the pacing & dreary melodrama involving Traci Lords' character and her daughter; plus, I wished the script incorporated more of Daniels' martial arts fighting and fighting scenes and of him utilising them more often. Traci Lords plays the FBI agent going after Gary Daniels; Gary Daniels has the role of a disgruntled computer systems hacker, who lost his wife and who is trying to move on and the pair find themselves on the run by Fahey and his goons when an earthquake strikes & thus, Daniels and Lords end up working together. As a B-movie cheapo, I thought it was okay, it was oddly watchable in places, yet as a general action film, Epicenter is not good at all and needed more and better quality action scenes. Nonetheless, it could have been much worse that I ended up turning it off right off the bat, 20 mins or so into it. Fortunately, the manner of the turns by Traci Lords and Gary Daniels just about saves it from being unwatchable. 


Is It Worth Watching?

Meh


Overall: