2022 was a year that felt incredibly strange and brought me back down to earth with a bump.
The last two years have been a whirlwind of emotions, filled with uncertainty regarding COVID-19, from the devastating deaths to the emerging vaccines. However, in East Asia, as in the rest of the world, we are pretty much past the pandemic phase, and COVID-19 is an afterthought that is rarely mentioned. For many people, 2022 was a year of considerable change. But here in the UK, it was business as usual, with energy prices and inflation soaring, leading to a cost-of-living crisis, and many of us trying to juggle our finances.
Russia's invasion of Ukraine dominated headlines, an unjust war that nobody asked for or wanted. In the UK, we also saw three prime ministers and the death of Queen Elizabeth II. Additionally, Argentina won the football World Cup hosted by Qatar, which was marred by controversy and drama before and during the tournament. Our working life resumed in person after two years of Zoom calls and no hugging our colleagues.
We stepped up to meet a series of unexpected challenges and changes. We forged on, and COVID-19 has subsided in the West in a sort of flu-like endemic way. In 2022, we leaned more towards the pre-pandemic year of 2019 and were a lot closer to the years before it in terms of normalcy. Work-wise at Costco, it hasn't been without its set of challenges.
The food court, also known as the meat grinder, has undergone a change in management. It's the fourth manager in less than two years, but the first in 2022. As with every year, there has been a turnover at the warehouse. People come and go, move up and move on.
Reflecting on the past year, it hasn't been as smooth as expected. It hasn't been easy, and at times it has been a mess, but neither was it tumultuous. The world operates differently now in the new normal than it did in 2019.
It's important to acknowledge the highs, accomplishments, and lessons learned in the past year. However, we must also take into account the lows and struggles and understand what could have been done differently. Consistency is usually revered by management, but we must also recognize that change is inevitable.
I need to let go of the pent-up anger and unnecessary frustration and instead of becoming irate, see things rationally and come from a place of empathy, compassion, and understanding from not just my perspective but to see it from the other person's and acknowledge the positives from it. Emotionally, it has been a headache, but really their problems, issues, and whatever is going on in their head directed at me are things I do not need to take on as my own. It is about them, not me. I need to stop carrying the weight of other people's expectations on me at the expense of my own happiness.
And I need to work smarter, not just harder. I learned some consequential home truths from my managers, which were a bitter pill to swallow as there were periods in 2022 when I faced criticism for not always pulling my weight in terms of the work.
Did I achieve what I needed to do? Well, work-wise, I would say, partially, but as I said before, that level of consistency and high standard needs to be maintained all the time, and in fairness, overall, I haven't managed that. I wasn't satisfied with some of my efforts, I was going through some emotions & lost some of my appetite to succeed and to work hard.
I have been under the cosh several times, and I felt rather disconnected. I haven't always been happy & my mental health struggled (the months of July and August especially, and they can go straight into the dumpster fire).
I spent the majority of 2021 at Costco working in a different role and another department, having spent time in the food court- and I relished that opportunity and enjoyed it so much. So to find myself back in the food court, I didn't anticipate it. I had to rekindle my passion for the work and familiarize myself with undertaking some of the general tasks endowed to me. In contrast to last year, collectively, the food court team have fared well, whereas individually, I didn't have an amazing year - over a year ago, it was the other way around with me excelling in my performances and the then-food court team of 2021 experiencing a range of problems, coupled with the exodus of a few key players.
At a retail outlet such as Costco that functions as a retail wholesaler with members as customers, a lot of people view retail as an easy job that doesn't require much effort -, however, if you have spent 4 years or more in this sector, regardless of whichever company you work for, this couldn't be any further from the truth.
One thing I learned this year is that as long as I get into a rhythm and pattern in doing tasks and doing them over and over, it becomes easier to remember & recognise I am doing what needs to be done. Repetition is both a good as well as a bad thing in that respect. At first, my mind was like, "How can I do this?" -, nowadays it is like: "I can do this, I am going to do this" and doing it correctly.
Undeniably, I need to do better; I see 2023 as the chance for rebirth and personal growth and an opportunity to not just put things right but to make fewer mistakes & learn from them. I've endured setbacks before, as well as encountering my share of unpleasant members - it's about overcoming each one of them on my journey to become a better version of myself.
One of the aims of next year is to focus on myself; I have to make myself the priority without being too selfless. When you are selfless and trying to help others and be more caring, you end up being exploited or drained by the other person. I discovered that when this occurs, it becomes too much to take on. I want to find that balance: I am no pushover and won't bend over backwards for anyone, and yet I don't want to be or be seen as arrogant or self-centred.
At the end of the day, I have to come to the realisation that whilst I might be working as part of a team, my work efforts are still my own; accurately enough I work independently with little to no supervision and help from my coworkers -, with that, I see to it that it is more about me working for and by myself, rather than working as a team and feeling as part of a team. That is the feeling I am getting. And if so, be it.
Having been working at Costco for over 4 years, I want to be a great employee who is capable of doing their job to the best of my ability but at the same time, on an emotional level, I need to let go of the anger, hurt, bitterness and resentment. To ignore & understand that constructive feedback doesn't hinder my success but drives it forward, rather than react negatively. One time I was under the impression that I wasn't being respected and that those higher-ups didn't care, when deep down they did, sort of. Rather they just didn't come out and say it.
I said some things I should not have said, got involved when it was not necessary and had nothing to do with me in the workplace. I became over-emotional and reacted to situations when there was no need to do so... I learned and realized that if I were to get too involved in the emotional side of things and not let my work do the talking & the results speak for themselves, other people would notice.
Each year presents a new set of challenges: 2022 was no different to 2021 and neither will 2023; I seek to enter next year & every year with a clean slate, alas seeking a personal and professional transformation that will be of tremendous benefit to myself. Therein remains an underlying sense of ambition, buoyed by the resilience and a sense of certainty after the pandemic shutdown and my past struggles. As I turn 42 in February 2023, I am not getting any younger - and yet, I won't give up and stop giving it my all.
Suffice it to say, I am not letting anything stand in my way.
The highlight of the year for me by far was travelling to America with my sister to New York, Washington D.C, whilst stopping off at Boston along the way back in October.
It was my first time in the States, and I relished every minute of it (but for our not-so-good stay in an Airbnb in Washington D.C.): it outweighs all the other things that occurred this year. The only vacation I took in 2022, and it was worth it. When I returned to London and to work after my spell on holiday, the difference it made to my work was enormous; I felt sharp and more dogged & I cared much more about the work.
2022 wasn't a love-it-or-hate-it affair - more like split right down the middle; however, in hindsight, based on my efforts and how I felt, it was a challenge to top or succeed in the echelons of 2021. 2021 was a hard act to follow.
It was clear to me and from many of my superiors that this year was somewhat of a step down from last year, which was incredible in many ways. & it is something that I agree with.
By my standards, I've done well at work. Yet what remains is I should have amounted to far better, - and whilst some might see to it that I am being a bit too hard on myself. I should be still grateful and pleased with what I have achieved at Costco (which I am btw), and still having a job lasting over four years since I joined the company earning very good money, I consider myself a hands-on type of worker; a grafter who prides myself on not letting those high standards drop and slip away for good.
Multiple times I have demonstrated that after a setback, I manage to fight back with perseverance, and self-belief and possess the urge to keep going and not drop my guard down for anyone. This mentality has gotten me through the tough and the rough spells, and one that has worked.
In terms of working relationships at work, having worked with and for a majority of my colleagues who are still present at Costco but who are at different stages in their careers, I have connected with a few of them whilst, at the same time, there are several that I do not talk to very often but we remain on good, professional terms with each other, regardless. I do not need to cater and appeal to everyone, and that's fine. I do not consider myself friends with anyone at work- I maintain my boundaries. They are nothing more than acquaintances.
If some have a problem with this, then, well, I don't do work friendships.
In my 2019 end-of-year review, I remarked at the time that it was a mixed bag... three years ago, it sure was, but after some thought and reflection, most of it was horrible. Excluding my trips to Hong Kong and Spain, I fell off in 2019, and it was a horrific period.
2022 wasn't by any means horrific or that terrible, but I would be lying if I said I loved every minute of it. It was important to end the year on a high, which is what I did.
2021 was incredible... 2022 not so much, I just wasn't happy or satisfied with my results at work and most of the time I was unhappy, but there are lessons to be learnt from those experiences.
I am desperately keen not to go back to 2020 - we in the West cannot afford to and I see 2022 serving as the springboard to (hopefully) a much more consistent and happier new and upcoming chapter that lies in and for 2023.
